Alcohol/Substance Use

Is Alcohol Getting in the Way?

A Message to Men Who Are Wondering About Their Drinking

As a mental health counselor, I work with many men who come in not quite sure if they “have a problem” with alcohol. Maybe someone in your life has mentioned that they think you might be drinking too much and maybe you've found yourself wondering the same thing—wondering if your drinking is just normal stress relief, something social, or if it's starting to cross a line.

If you're asking the question, that's a good sign. It means you're paying attention. And that's where change begins—not always with an answer, but with a willingness to take an honest look.

Alcohol Use vs. Alcohol Dependence

Alcohol use exists on a spectrum. On one end, it might look like a few drinks a week with friends. On the other end, it can take over your life—affecting your health, relationships, work, and self-respect.

Alcohol dependence isn't just about how much you drink—it’s about your relationship with alcohol. Here are a few questions I often explore with men in counseling:

Do you find yourself needing a drink to relax, socialize, or sleep?
Have you tried to cut back but found it harder than expected?
Do you drink more than you intended—often or regularly?
Have friends or family expressed concern, or have you brushed it off?
Are you using alcohol to cope with stress, anxiety, or past experiences?

If any of these resonate with you, you're not alone. And it doesn't automatically mean you’re an “alcoholic.” Labels aren’t the goal here. The real question is: Is alcohol serving you, or is it starting to take something from you?

Why This Conversation Is Hard for Men

Culturally, men are often expected to be in control—strong, self-reliant, not needing help. That can make it even harder to talk about struggles with drinking. Many guys worry it will be seen as weakness or failure. Social settings with men tend to promote the use of alcohol whether it's a few rounds of golf, afterwork drinks with colleagues, or weekend warriors.

But here's the truth: It takes strength to ask hard questions. And even more strength to look at your habits and make choices that protect your well-being, your relationships, and your future.

What Counseling Looks Like

If you decide to talk with me, you won’t get judged or lectured. This isn’t about shame. It’s about curiosity. Together, we look at what alcohol is doing in your life—what it’s helping with, and what it might be hurting.

Sometimes that leads to cutting back. Sometimes it leads to quitting. And sometimes it’s about addressing the deeper stress, trauma, or emotions that alcohol has been covering up.

You set the pace. You define what success looks like.

If You’re on the Fence

If you're still unsure, try this:

Go a week (or a month) without alcohol and see what comes up.
Keep a journal of how you feel physically, emotionally, and socially.
Talk to someone—friend, partner, or counselor—about your concerns.

You don’t need to have hit “rock bottom” to explore change. Often, the earlier you check in with yourself, the more freedom you have in choosing your path forward.

Final Thoughts

You’re not broken. You’re not alone. And you don’t have to figure this out by yourself.

If alcohol is starting to take more than it gives—or even if you're just not sure—reach out. Getting support doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means you're ready to take your life seriously.

And that’s something worth raising a glass to—just maybe, a different kind of glass.